Boy Mom

A couple of months ago I guest posted over on Liz's blog Chasin' Mason for her Boy Moms series. I was so excited to be apart of her series because I love being a boy mom and find comfort and encouragement from connecting with other blogging boy moms.
So in case you missed it, I thought I would post it here as well:

"I'm 90% sure you are having a girl" said the ultrasound tech at my 20 week anatomy scan. I wasn't at all surprised. Over the last 16 weeks, I had worked myself up to be scared to death to have a girl. I am not at all into girly things and I really have no idea how to be a girl myself, so how in the world would I be able to raise a girl and give her the true girl experience? Because the universe works in funny ways and I was really terrified to have a girl, I was sure I was going to be blessed with a baby girl just to show me that I could raise a girl perfectly well and it would all work out. 

 We decided not to tell anyone yet since we weren't 100% sure. We were waiting to see what was going to happen at the follow up ultrasound at 24 weeks.The reason the ultrasound tech was only 90% certain was because she couldn't get a full, clear view of the genital area. I turned sides, walked around, and prayed my little heart out, but after 10+ minutes of trying, the tech moved on. She told us she didn't see any boy parts, and so was fairly certain it was a girl. I was so disappointed to not know for sure (after hyping myself up for months to find out). However luckily, she also wasn't able to get a good view of certain parts of the heart, so we had to make another appointment at 24 weeks. 

In the weeks following that first unsuccessful gender scan, I began wrapping my mind around what it would be like to have a little girl and tried to make a real effort to be positive for both myself and my boyfriend Mark. I also became obsessed with anatomy ultrasound pictures. I would study every one that would come up on my mommy forum app and I learned all the ways to tell boy or girl. I was determined to be prepared for my next ultrasound; I was not going to leave that office without knowing 100%! 

Being that this post is part of the Boy Moms series, I am sure you can guess what happened at our second scan, but since I am probably the most long-winded writer you will ever meet, I will finish the story. The first thing she asked was if we wanted to know the gender and with a resounding yes! she moved her little wand around and found the sweet spot. All my 'research' was completely worth it because within 2 seconds I knew what I was looking at. I didn't say anything though because I wanted Mark to hear it from the tech. Somehow the little person inside of me that I was hoping was a boy, but knew had to be a girl, was in fact, a BOY! I was elated, so overjoyed, and incredibly grateful to get the news that I wanted so badly to hear! I basked in that elation for a long time. Pregnancy was not my thing, but finally finding out that I was going to have a little boy helped me get through that last grueling 15 weeks. 

DIY gender reveal photos

As D-Day grew closer and closer, I began to conger up all sorts of crazy thoughts: namely... oh crap is this going to be one of those "be careful what you wish for" situations where my son is going to be a complete terror and eventual serial killer?!?! 

Well 2 years into his life and I am happy to report that he is not a serial killer (yet), but I can't say that I haven't used the word 'terror' to describe him once or twice ;) He embodies every sense of the 'BOY' label and I do very often have to remind myself "this is what I wished for", but I wouldn't have it any other way. As I am sitting here writing this, I am trying to imagine what life would be like if the ultrasound tech was right the first time. It's hard to speculate on something so arbitrary: maybe life would be drastically different, but maybe things would be quite the same. I find it hard to tell if I am making him be all boy, if it just comes naturally, or if it is some combination of the two. Whatever the reason having a boy is everything I ever imagined it to be and more. I love everything he loves and am really enjoying learning about all the 'boy' things I never really knew much about. Currently, that means sports, dinosaurs, and Ninja Turtles. His ninja moves are on point and he is really excelling in his baseball skills. 

 It is hard for me to put into words all that I love about having a boy, specifically my boy, so I will be brief and use (mostly) pictures:

1. His laughter!

2. His love for all things messy (Paints and Edible sensory play):

3. His fearless (Noodling):

4. His goofy and imaginative demeanor:

5. His need to always be involved:

6. His determination (which will probably be the death of me):

He has been a man on a mission since the day he was born. It all started with his Houdini skills in the swaddle:

Then, it turned into a need to explore everything (even if that meant tippy toes):

Then, it was his needed to do everything his daddy did: 

And now apparently it is his need to become a pilot:

He is a handful and a half, always on the go, but he also has a very endearing, lovey-dovey side. His new goodbye routine consists of saying 'kiss, hug, high five, and boom-boom (fist pump)', making you do them in order, and insisting on all four before you leave. He is a pretty fierce cuddler as well, although only when he is tired or hurt. And he gives the best tickles and raspberries in all the land.
 He is my everything and will always be my number one. Anyone that knows us can attest to the fact that he is 120% a momma's boy. Sometimes it can be overwhelming when I need a break, but really, to know that he thinks I am the coolest person in the entire world makes my life complete.